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When Bonnie Meets Clive instead of Clyde....

Managing Disappointment Around the Holidays

Here’s a confession: I may have a tendency towards over-romanticizing. Few people know that I secretly love classic romantic comedies from the 80’s and 90’s like When Harry Met Sally, Chasing Amy, Notting Hill, Boomerang….Almost as much as stories about couples like Bonnie and Clyde. Oh my goodness, Bonnie & Clyde. Pha-ew… present me with a man with a bit of hutzpah that could be my partner to create some more good in the world? Shoot. My knees go seriously weak. Like can’t get down the side of a mountain that I have already climbed weak. Please take my hand sort of weak. I start acting like a young girl with a crush on the drummer in the school band. This grown, independent woman doctor & activist that is known for wearing cowboy boots, having tattoos, and speaking her mind suddenly becomes at a loss for words. Mute. Man, I start having so many visions of yoga, family dinners, and homemade, vegan Irish cream on lazy Sunday mornings that I can’t even act like normal human being. Seriously, it can get out of control. It can really be embarrassing. And, it sets me up for some fairly regular disappointment. Because this tendency towards over-romanticizing seeps over into all relationships (romantic or otherwise), the holidays can easily become particularly disappointing. Which, in itself is disappointing. I mean, the holidays are supposed to be filled with so much love and warmth. And yet for some reason, it is still hard sometimes to listen to “Home for the Holidays” without crying, whether I am actually “home” for the holidays or not. Over the years as a naturopathic doctor, I have come to realize that this tendency towards over-romanticizing and unrealistic expectations may not happen just to me. Then we add in all of the memories during the holidays that remind us of the loss of loved ones. This means the holidays can be filled with love and happiness just as easily as they can be filled with sadness and disappointment for most of us. Using Homeopathy to Increase Resilience I have developed this unquenchable passion for the practice of homeopathy. One of the reasons is because of the affect the use of homeopathic remedies can have in creating resilience to different stresses in life. It sort of trains your body to overcome its weaknesses.... holistically, mind & body. The tendency towards creating expectations and getting disappointed can definitely be a stressor in life. So can a disagreement with family, the end of a relationship, or the loss of a loved one.

After years of confronting auto-immune diseases with myself and patients, I finally had to face these issues of disappointment and loss. Because it seems as though these stressors do have an effect on health. Everything from flares of chronic diseases to even colds/flus can be aggravated a result of stresses like being really disappointed or losing someone. Not every person I have come across over the years is susceptible to being disappointed, grieving the loss of a loved one, or anger outbursts during the holidays. But for those that are, homeopathy can provide some really great options. Especially, if you are looking for some over-the-counter support in your local health food store that is under $10. Here are some of the more popular options during the holidays:

  • Disappointment with Alternating Moods or Uncontrollable Crying: Homeopathic Ignatia amara is most often helpful when someone has experienced grief or other suppressed emotions in relation to getting disappointed or suffering losing someone. Frequently, alternating moods of laughing and crying will be noticed. Or, periods of uncontrollable crying. People that react positively to this remedy often notice a sensation of a “lump” in their throat. Especially when thinking of past disappointments or losses. They may also notice a particular sensitivity to cigarette smoke, or may even notice “phantom” cigarette smoke.

  • Disappointment with Bursts of Anger: For people that are sensitive to disappointment that have “a bit of a temper”, Staphysagria may be helpful. People that respond positively to this homeopathic remedy will often suppress their anger until the point that it erupts. At times, they may throw things at people who have hurt or angered them. Other times, they may walk away trembling with anger from an altercation or disagreement. These people may suffer from urinary tract infections and may crave cigarettes.

  • Disappointment with Isolation: Sometimes, the pain from the disappointments will be too great and all emotions will be suppressed. These people may react positively to homeopathic Natrium muriaticum, particularly if there is a difficulty crying in front of others and a desire for isolation. People that will respond positively to Natrium muriaticum frequently are sensitive to sunlight and may crave salty foods. They may dwell on past hurts and some might describe them as “bitter”. They may suffer from headaches and hayfever.

Be Careful with Yourself These are three of the more common suggestions I have seen helpful during the holidays over the years. None of these suggestions are meant to replace the care of your primary care provider or any other health care provider. Over the counter medicines (including homeopathy) are generally considered safe in the short-term, though there is always the potential for a worsening of symptoms. Especially if you have an underlying or undiagnosed condition. Please do make sure to speak with healthcare professionals familiar with your history and current medications/supplements before beginning anything new.

Homeopathy is not used to “fix” things. Rather, it is used to stimulate your body’s natural ability to heal. Like a cut or a burn heals slowly with time, so do the emotional wounds from the past. This isn’t always easy and it isn’t always simple. Plus, there are literally hundreds of homeopathic remedies that can ease symptoms caused by being disappointed or losing someone. A trained homeopathic prescriber is best equipped to help you find the best long-term solution for you. Going through this process of healing with the support of a homeopathic provider as well as a counselor and other specialists is often most helpful. If your healthcare provider is not trained in homeopathy, find a trained practitioner of homeopathy who is understands this complex system of therapy. Licensed naturopathic doctors are often trained in homeopathy, as well as many other qualified healthcare providers. If you are having a difficult time finding someone in your area, please do schedule a free 15-minute consultation with me at and I will help you find someone. Finding the Support to Heal Like many others, I was raised to think that with advent of pharmaceutical medications, there was no need to feel pain any more. This point of view has led to an awful lot of opioid and other drug addictions in this country. Through my years of teaching and practicing healing, I have come to realize that you must feel at least some of the pain in order to release it. For me and many others, homeopathy has been a great tool to allow this to happen. There are plenty of other ways. If you are in pain or suffering this holiday season, ask for advice or support. There are options. The holidays are supposed to be a time of love and warmth. No need for it to be anything else.

Jonci Jensen natural doctor matcha healthy coffee replacement anti-oxidant Oceanside

Jonci Jensen , ND is a naturopathic doctor in Carlsbad, CA who shares

her inspirations Practicing the Art of Healing.

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